A week ago, I returned home from serving a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I returned home from serving the Lord in an area I loved, surrounded by the most amazing people, and the most wonderful Spirit.
To be honest with you, it sucked. The flight home, I slept to avoid thinking about everything that I was leaving behind.
Especially since I was returning home for reasons that I cannot control.
Ever since I was 16, I have wanted to serve a mission. It all started when my best friend decided to take the missionary lessons. She did not end up being baptized, but I saw it making a difference in her life, and I realized how much the gospel of Jesus Christ truly had blessed my life. It was then that I was like "Yeah, no matter what, I am serving a mission". It just became easier in a sense when they made the big age change. It just affirmed to me that this is what I was supposed to do.
As I have written before, getting my mission call was not an easy process. I waited to receive my call for two months, the whole before time wondering why this was going on. Was I not supposed to serve? Did I misinterpret the promptings from the Holy Ghost? At times I even wondered if Heavenly Father was listening to my prayers. I felt like everyone else around me was getting their calls, so why wasn't I?
Finally, I got my call. It read "You are hereby called to labor in the Maryland Baltimore Mission." I immediately started freaking out, right? I was going on a mission! Heavenly Father had heard my prayers, and through this trial, I had grown closer to Him. I felt like I knew who He was, and how He had influenced my life.
So, I started preparing for my mission: clothes shopping, googling everything like crazy, some Facebook stalking, and meeting with my bishop every week. Finally, the day came for me to be set apart as a full-time missionary, a full-time servant of the Lord.
I was freaking out.
Was I ready for this? Was I worthy for this? Is this really what I was supposed to be doing with my life?
Well, obviously I went through with it. I entered the MTC (or Missionary Training Center) on July 16, 2014.
I returned home October 1, 2014.
And I changed more in those 77 days than I even anticipated serving for 18 months.
You don't ever think that serving in a random town in wild and wonderful West Virginia will really impact and change your life, but it does. I did not go into my mission expecting to learn for myself, expecting to learn things for my future family. But I did. I learned how important a temple marriage truly is to me, the blessing it can be in my life. I learned how I want to raise my children, what I want them to be able to learn. I learned how important regular church attendance truly is, More important, I truly learned who Heavenly Father is. I learned of His love for every single one of His children, and that He really does have a plan for each of them, individually.
To be honest, I feel like I am in this really awful post-mission limbo, and it sucks. I have no clue what Heavenly Father's plan for me is, but I know that He has one. I know that I was meant to serve in West Virginia, with those I served along, for the time I served. I have no idea what to do now with my life, but I know that if I trust in the Lord, He will guide me to what I am supposed to do. He knows who I am, and He knows what I need to do. On my mission, we listened to the 2014 EFY CD a ton, and one song always stood out to me. The lyrics said "Maybe someday I'll know everything, but for today I've got what matters more than anything. I know He understands, and He loves me as I am. Even through the storms and trials, He is there. He lives to bring me home, and that's all I need to know." He loves me, and He will never let me fail, as long as I trust in Him.
Love you all!
XOXO, Sydney
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